There are things whose name cannot be mentioned
actions which precede language, names, meanings
desires which resist being recorded
instinctive, irrational, human moments
There are things that happen, that exist outside cultural constructions
There are things whose name must not be mentioned
practices enunciated by a language that rejects them
desires inscribed with an abominable meaning, conquered by an orthodox logic
moments colonized like the territory that comprises them
things turned into history and named against certain traditions; farce disguised as truth
There are situations that take place and are eradicated with moral violence,
judged with fervent religious devotion
Those things called unnatural are the abominable sins.
The landscape does not confess what it has witnessed;
the images are out of time and veil the actions that have taken place there.
If we watched attentively the current of the river,
the foliage of the trees,
or the weight of the rocks,
would that reveal their history?
We have need of instruments, documentation, signs.
They were found throughout the American Continent,
from the Yucatan Peninsula to the south of the Andes,
proud and telling artifacts;
earthenware and ceramic pots,
jewels forged in gold,
and stone sculptures representing homoerotic acts,
acts of sodomy,
of homosexual sex.
Today I travel along a river bearing the name of a Spanish Don,
looking for signs of that celebrated sexuality,
traces of the moment which preceded its demonization.
This is a conquered river and a complicit river;
its clear waters reveal scarred riverbeds
where pre-Hispanic ethnicities saw their bodies floating,
where their traditions were drowned.
The Conquest is a history of silences
It subordinates the body,
And reduces desire to ashes
The expression of the homoerotic was also noted by chroniclers,
European settlers and evangelist missionaries saturated with faith and with the morality of a Western god.
In their chronicles they refer to the abominable sins as an abnormality;
a shamanic and tribal perversion opposed to the gender and sexual foundations of "civilization."
Based on the biblical passage on sins against nature in Leviticus 18,
"You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; such a thing is an abomination,"
the process of evangelical domestication was, in their view, a "transcendent salvation."
Other chronicles narrate that the conquistadores gave the sinful natives a dose of their own "taste"
sodomizing them in order to emasculate them,
raping them to make them pay for their lack of Christian sense of guilt,
and killing them to eradicate the propagation of their heinous crimes.
For the settlers sodomy was more abominable than zoophilia
and than the solitary pleasure of masturbation;
it was the greatest transgression of morality, which justified its being rooted out in any way,
no matter how violently.
Despite their destructive intention, we remained here
Bodies, blood, rituals, traditions, legends, sacrifices
The temple of the cosmos
In this territory the Conquest established the notion of history and its pretensions of objectivity.
Its accounts and chronicles are based on imported categories;
they are responsible for our knowledge of the body and the stigmatization of sex.
The anus owes to that moment its transformation into the organ of immorality,
into the temple of male vulnerability,
and into the territory of sodomy.
Their vice was our saintliness
Their nightmare our dream
Their monsters our idols
Their perversions our beliefs
Their history our calvary
Our land their treasure
I search behind these wet rocks,
through these silent trees
and under these running waters,
traces of the pre-designated.
signals of the pre-named.
I look for marks of an unknown and undocumented moment.
I search for an image of desire before it was created,
I look for another history;
one without violence or oppression.
I seek to construct a lie in which I can see myself reflected.
I escape from knowledge,
I look for myself in a non-existing state.
My voice mediated by yours
Words imposed upon my actions
Traditions designated as behaviors
Your interests reflected on my body
I am a fiction invented by you
Look into my eyes, what do you see?
The flow of the river?